What Really Matters? What Doesn’t?

Losing a best friend.

I gave a eulogy last week for my best friend Aubert. We met 22 years ago on a blind date that our wives set up for us, a 100 mile bike ride for us to share our first day together. I knew we would be friends forever. I did not know forever would come so soon. He died of colon cancer, and I spent my year with him and his family trying to make the days better, and for me to learn what matters.

In some ways the year taught me everything I needed to know. Watching his family during this time, it was clear that he had taught them all how to live life. How to help, persevere and keep living, as Aubert struggled to regain his health. He lost the battle to the disease, but he won the battle of life. You see Aubert lived life by controlling his days and making the best of what he encountered. He never stopped working the next business idea or taking on the next adventure.

Aubert ran one of the best florist shops on Long Island, along with his wife Arlene. Having handled 8 Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and 2 weddings for my 8 children, I can honestly say he was the best in the business. Aubert was a man who could never disappoint a client. He would listen carefully at what was wanted, determine the feasibility and cost and present it. Always leading with the concept that nothing is impossible, just that some things were harder to accomplish than others. When cost made something too hard to justify, he would build a better, more value driven substitute. He knew how to sell and get the job done.

Aubert managed by action. He never asked a fellow employee to do something he himself would not do. He often did the work of others around him the moment somebody declared they could not do something. Aubert would answer with action and prove it could happen, and it would.

Aubert faced his difficult diagnosis with a 100% winning attitude. From the first day until his last breath, he never allowed the illness to define his life, he worked around it. In August he climbed Mt. Washington for a day hike. I opted out, as I need prep time. Aubert had little time ahead so he just did it. Weeks later we rode together again, something we had not done for years. I followed him for miles and miles wondering why he rode so hard. I realize now he was racing time. Aubert never allowed life to set the rules, and never allowed his momentum to be slowed. An entrepreneur extraordinaire, he controlled his days and the risk, but lived every moment to its fullest.

Today I approach my business very differently. . . Read More